Yes, I would pay vast sums of surplus unmarked bills to watch someone else attempt to play any of this stuff on stage. You've more chance of a Vauxhall Nova full of techno-neds navigating their way to the mars in the fookin' challenger spaceshuttle . Or even Alvin fookin' Stardust & The Sideburns Aff A Badger's Ars, for that matter. 　　 　　Can I play the solo on Jock Ewing on a bean bag, near the windae? Oh aye, I rattle through that every morning before 'ave put the kettle on.