As I went home on Monday night

As drunk as drunk could be

I saw a horse outside the door

Where my old horse should be

Well I called me wife and I said to her:

Will you kindly tell to me

Who owns that horse outside the door

Where my old horse should be

Ah you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me

Well it's many a day

I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But a saddle on a sow sure

I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night

As drunk as drunk could be

I saw a coat behind the door

Where my old coat should be

Well I called me wife and

I said to her Will you kindly tell to me

Who owns that coat behind the door

Where my old coat should be

Ah you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a woollen blanket

That me mother sent to me

Well it's many a day

I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night

As drunk as drunk could be

I saw a pipe up on the chair

Where my old pipe should be

Well I called me wife and

I said to her Will you kindly tell to me

Who owns that pipe up on the chair

Where my old pipe should be

Ah you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a lovely tin whistle

That me mother sent to me

Well it's many a day

I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But tobacco in a tin whistle sure

I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night

As drunk as drunk could be

I saw two boots beneath the bed

Where my old boots should be

Well I called me wife and

I said to her Will you kindly tell to me

Who owns them boots beneath the bed

Where my old boots should be

Ah you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me

Well it's many a day

I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night

As drunk as drunk could be

I saw a head upon the bed

Where my old head should be

Well I called me wife and

I said to her Will you kindly tell to me

Who owns that head upon the bed

Where my old head should be

Ah you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me

Well it's many a day

I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure

I never saw before