The Elephant Song - Ian Wallace

作曲：Donald Swann/michael Flanders

A elephant's life is tedious laborious and slow

I've been an elephant all me life

So I blooming well ought to know

He never forgets a name or face oh

He knows his way from place to place oh

Remembers to be dutiful

And when to push and when to pull

An when he's dead the dealer calls

And buys his tusks for billiard balls ooooh

And all because an elephant's got a perfect memory

That wasn't the life for me

So I'm suffering form amnesia

My mind's a perfect blank

Now life is very much easier

Amnesia's to thank

I'm being psychoanalysed

I lie on a divan

And flap me ears

And try to look a barmy as I can

I'm an Introverted Elephocentric Hypochondriac

And I'll stick in the Elephant's nursing home

Till I get me memory back

I'm suffering from Hysteria

I nearly split me sides

To watch the others get wearier

Of giving children rides

I've told my psychoanalyst

That I'm a sacred cow

I'd love to carry a Howdah

But I can't remember how

I'm an Introverted Elephocentric Hypochondriac

And I'll stick in the Elephant's nursing home

Till I get me memory back

I suffer from Schizophrenia

It comes on me in spells

Sometimes I'm King of Armenia

At others I'm Orson Welles

I tell them I'm Napoleon

And all that sort of bunk

They never guess that all the time

I'm laughing up me trunk

I'm an Introverted Elephocentric Hypochondriac

And I'll stick in the Elephants' nursing home

Till I get me memory back

Tra tiddle tumty tumty tra tiddletum

Practising me trumpet half the night

Tra tiddle tumty tumty tra tiddletum

And I'll stick in the Elephants' nursing home

Till I get me memory get me memory

Get me memory back