歌曲名 How To Make Delicious Chocolate Pudding 歌手名 Lisa Howard

作词：

作曲：

I'm not talkin' 'bout the year we got the black dog

The year we got the dog it was so exciting

But it's the year after that

When Chocolate Pudding's ungroomed and fat

And on the wall

We rotten children all

Would see the inevitable writing

See Dad had lost his job

He had grown ungroomed and fat

Just like Chocolate Pudding had

And every time he looked at Chocolate Pudding

It was like the dog stabbed him with a knife

That miserable fat ungroomed dog is making a mockery of my life

Get him outta here he said

Get him outta here

Take him back to the vets

Take him back to the breeders

Please get him outta here

I don't want a dog around

When your mother gets home from work tonight he prayed

But Mom never came home from work that night

Dad drank himself into a stupor

Conversation was always was super

And the dog stayed

I'm not really sure this song's about the black dog

'Cause it so happened when we got the beast

My family fell apart

But Chocolate Pudding became our family's heart

Replacing Mom

Who with a killer's aplomb

Had made a remarkable start

See Ma became a star

Just like that Martha Stewart had

On TV or in the car Mom just appeared

It was muy mucho bizarre

But we quickly regained our footing

And Mom named her show God's honest truth

How To Make Delicious Chocolate Pudding

Get a load-a her Dad said

Get a load-a that

She can speak like a queen and she knows so much lingo though

I know what you mean when you say that she's crass

She's incredibly racked with a rack but no dingo

And a wonderful girl with her nose up her ass

Boys get a load-a that

Every time the dog heard Ma say Chocolate Pudding

Her program but his name

Dog would jump he'd bark he'd curse the dark

He'd work himself into a lather

Then try to regather

But Ma felt no blame

Are you bored yet

Are you bored yet

I'm just trying to keep you amused

This is my stab at a nineteenth-century novella

Mill on the Floss-like

But I hope a best sellah

Not important

My inner critic decreed

But my God it's so short

Plus it's easy to read

And now as I try to end this narration

I see the literary train pull into an imaginary station

So on Christmas morn we watched our mother on the TV

Dad it so happened was smoking a cigar

And Ma just kept on talking

About Chocolate pudding blah blah blah must bake

Dog heard its name

Mauled onto dear old Dad

And Dad lit the dog on fire by mistake

Yes the dog's hair caught on fire

Picture that in a frame

Look how a burning Chocolate Pudding spread the flame

Up in flames with the sofa

Curtains adios

All our Christmas presents went up in flames

Books gone walls gone ceilings gone

And a cooked Chocolate Pudding hit the lawn

Get him outta here Dad said

Make the dog vamoose

Have him killed at the pound

Take it back to its breeders

Fools

Numbskulls

Ffffarts

Regurgitant

Get him out of here

I don't want the dog around

When I get home from work tonight he prayed

But Dad never came home from work that night

We laughed ourselves into a stupor

How we disposed of Dad was super

And the dog stayed

The story this simple bagatelle has ended

And the passengers on the literary train

At the imaginary station

Have all descended

I hope your stay here is a happy one