作曲：Robert L Freedman+Steven Lutvak

So sorry to interrupt such a festive occation

But I am under strickt instructions to arrest you

For murder

Murder

Stop wait what

Well I didn't kill Adelbert D'squith

Though that certainly was my intent

Rather hard to digest

That I could be arrested

For something that I only meant

And it couldn't be poor cousin Asquith

For he graciously died on his own

Was that hole in the ice

Just a bit too precise

Was my prescence at Chiselmere known

Muder did you say

I'm afraid so your lordship

Stop wait when

I shall doubt I was seen in the harbor

Lady Hyacinth fell in so fast

As for Salome's end

All suspicion would send

Them at once to that backstabbing cast

Did the beestings reveal my deception

Was I seen at the weightlifting hall

How rude to intrude on this lovely reception

For I am the earl after all

Yes I am the earl after all

Though it's come I concede at a cost

But where was my blunder

My weakness I wonder

Is all of it now to be lost

Is all of it now to be lost

Murdering whom

Lord Adlebert D'Ysquith eight earl of highhurst

Stop wait who

For the murder of Adlebert D'Ysquith

Were there ever a farce this is it

I am almost amused

I should stand here accused

Of a murder I didn't commit

But surely the earl died of a heart attack

No your lordship it was foul play

Of course I should like to inquire

By what method he happened to die

But more to the point

What events now conspire

To lead them to think it was I

I've dispatched half a dozen

Each one a cousin

All of them quite by design

It is not a defense

It just makes no sense

His murder was not one of mine