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The Ballard Of Happy Friday And Tiger Woods - Penelope Houston

Out past Wardenshill past Guy's Run Armory

Where you can shoot guns all the live long day

There's a spot where Tiger Woods and his love Happy Friday

Would hide from the orderlies sneaking away

They would roll on the grass in the bosom of ecstasy

Trample the green they would swallow the tees

They showed no discretion nor thought for their families

Freed by a passion they did as they pleased

His body was perfect

His body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

And Happy was happiest with eyes clamped shut

To keep out the coldness of voices with pills

To keep out the sight of heads stapled tight

And smiles that said We know you can do it

To pry her eyes open with blinding sunlight

To steal her away from her sentient lover

Whose body was perfect

Whose body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

If Happy don't move we would shout then and shake her

If Happy won't eat we would turn up her tube

We begged and we pleaded we teased and cajoled her

But Happy had no plans to ever be moved

From the place deep inside where she met with her future

She spent all her time in the arms of her lover

Whose body was perfect

Whose body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

Whose body was perfect

Whose body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

I was fine I was happy she thought once or twice

My husband my grandkids yes all that was nice

Before they had taken my arms and legs from me

Stolen so quickly and now they all beg me

To walk and to lift things; a fork to my mouth

But my mouth's full of Tiger a passion for Tiger

Whose body was perfect

Whose body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

Whose body was perfect

Whose body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

Out past Wardenshill past Guy's Run Armory

Where you can shoot guns all the live long day

There's a spot where Tiger Woods and his love Happy Friday

Would hide from the orderlies sneaking away

They would roll on the grass in the bosom of ecstasy

Trample the green they would swallow the tees

They showed no discretion nor thought for their families

Freed by a passion they did as they pleased

His body was perfect

His body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

His body was perfect

His body was perfect

The strong and the terrible young Tiger Woods

His body was perfect

His body was perfect

His body was perfect

His body was perfect

His body was perfect

His body was perfect