Cruel Shoes (From The Book Cruel Shoes) - Steve Martin

作词：Steve Martin

作曲：Steve Martin

Anna knew She had to have a new pair of shoes today

And Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store

Carlo spoke wearily Well that's it

That's every pair of shoes in the place

Oh you must have one more pair

No not one more Well

We have the cruel shoes but no one would want to try

Yes let me see the cruel shoes

No you don't understand you see the cruel shoes are

Get them

Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment

And then reappeared carrying an ordinary shoebox

He took off the lid and re-moved

A hideous pair of black and white pumps

But this was not an ordinary pair of black

And white pumps both were left feet

One had a right angle turn with

Sepa-rate compartments

That pointed the toes in impossible directions

The other shoe was six inches long and

Was curved inward like a rocking chair

With a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place

Carlo spoke hesitantly

Now you see they' re not fit for humans

Put them on me

But Put them on me

Carlo knew all arguments were useless

He knelt down before her and

Forced the feet into the shoes

The screams were incredible

Anna crawled over to the mirror

And held her bloody feet up where she could see

I like them

She paid Carlo and crawled

Out of the store into the street

Later that day

Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer

Well that's it That's every pair of shoes in the place

Unless of course you'd like to try the cruel shoes