Grow Mrs Goldfarb - Allan Sherman

Grow Mrs Goldfarb fatter fatter

Pile the potatoes on your platter

Listen to me 'cause I'm your hubby

I just adore you plump and chubby

I got a letter from the state Dear

You're gonna need a license plate Dear

My little elephant joke come true

Chew Mrs Goldfarb chew

There is so much more of you

More to adore of you

'Cause you're not slender

In your white dress you're a doll

Big as the Taj Mahal

In all it's splendor

When you're in department stores

Don't use revolving doors

You might get stuck Dear

When you use the telephone

Go in the booth alone

And lots of luck Dear

You had for breakfast: two pounds bacon

Three dozen eggs one coffee cake and

Then you had something really awful

Four kippered herrings on a waffle

Nine English muffins one baked apple

Boston cream pie Philadelphia scrapple

Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch

Then you said What's for lunch

Sweetheart you are giant size

You are Lane Bryant size

My darling Myrtle

Last Thanksgiving I was thrilled

You ate so much you killed

Your living girdle

Have another dozen shrimp

My lovely little blimp

Don't count a calorie

I have just received a stub

I owe the Diner's Club

A whole year's salary

Eat Mrs Goldfarb daily nightly

Eat though your chair is bending slightly

Love of my life I'm glad I found you

Each day I take a walk around you

I can't forget when we got married

Over the threshhold I got carried

No other bride would be so sweet

Eat Mrs Goldfarb Eat