Here's Your Sign (Don't Mess With Us)

作词:Bill Engvall

作曲:Bill Engvall

所属专辑:Ultimate Laughs

歌词

@migu music@

Here's Your Sign (Album Version) - Bill Engvall

I just hate stupid people.

They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid.

That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?

You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops,

never mind"

"I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California our house

was full

of boxes and there was a u-Haul truck in our driveway.

My friend comes over and says, "Hey, You moving?"

"Nope."

"We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many

boxes it takes."

"Here's your sign."

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

modern man.

So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled

his boat

into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass this idiot on

the dock

goes, "Hey, yall catch all them fish?"

Nope.

"Talked 'em into giving up."

"Here's your sign."

I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was

playing with his little friend, and he hit his friend and I went up to

him

and I said "Hey, (smacks his boy), we don't hit." He looked up at me

like, "Here's your sign, dad."

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

modern man.

So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel, there

was a guy

inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test that.

"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want

you to jump

into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite

you."

"Well allright....hold my sign, I don't wanna loose it"

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

modern man.

So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

Here's your sign. Here's your sign.

Last time I was home I was driving around I had a flat tire, I pulled my

truck into one

of these side-of-the-road gas statioons, the attendant walks out, looks

at my truck,

looks at me, I swear to GOD he went, "Tire go flat?"

I couldn't resist.

I said "Nope".

"No I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on

me."

"Here's your sign."

Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?

We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the

modern man.

So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...

People with them little bitty teenie weenie tiny monds...

Here's your sign.

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, a guy come over to the

house, drove the

car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out

of the car, reaches down

and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Damn thats hot!"

See...

If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

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