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It's A Most Unusual Play - Allan Sherman

It's a most unusual play;

Feel like throwing my tickets away

'Cause the boy gets the boy

And the girl gets the girl

And it's way too far off Broadway

It's a most unusual plot

Which I've either blocked

Out or forgot;

I don't know what it means

But they all wear blue jeans

And they scratch themselves

Quite a lot

There's no scenery

There's no lighting

There's no costumes;

Oh what art

If there only were no house lights

I would sneak up

The aisle and depart

There's a most unusual scene

Where this man dates

This Xerox machine

So his girlfriend gets mad

And she murders the cad

To the tune of "Begin the Beguine"

In this most unusual

Most unusual most unusual play

Oh the language is a bit loose;

It's decidedly not Mother Goose

Outside on the marquee

This quotation you'll see:

"I was shocked "

And it's signed Lenny Bruce

It's a play where

Something went wrong

'Cause it's five hours

Twelve minutes long

If you sit there my friend

From beginning to end

Then your bladder better be strong

There are people hitting people;

There's a couple in a cage

There's neurotics

There's narcotics

And the bathroom is

Right on the stage

It's a great big critical smash

And it's raking in all kinds of cash

But the theater's appalling

With things that are crawling;

I think I am getting a rash

From this most unusual

Most unusual most unusual play