Five Star Motels - Rick Moranis

I was datin' some girl from Dayton

When I got a little noisy with someone else from Boise

I did some yoga in Saratoga

Wound up with lumbago from San Diego

It got a little clammy one night in Miami

Made me wish again to be back in Michigan

Got too cute that time in Butte

Finally hit my quota in Sarasota

I wanna stop all this frequent flying

Stay clear of those friendly skies

Too tired of all this trying

I need a map to keep track of my lies

No more rental cars

And mini-bars

Macadamia jars

And five star motels

Had a folly one night in Raleigh

Man it was scenic on down in Phoenix

I went bonkers when night in Yonkers

But it was costin' too much in Boston

I wanna shredder this rail pass

Gotta get back on the right side of the track

I wanna switch directions fast

It's just easier to stick to the facts

No more don't tells

And won't tells

I'm done with

These five star motels

I'm gonna pull the wheels off of this wheel estate

Park it on a pretty piece of land

Find a hometown girl that I can show the world

And tell the boys that I'm leaving the band

I kept a stash

Of petty cash

For a wedding bash

At the finest hotel

We were playin' some bars one night on Mars

When a gal from Pluto lookin' for a little judo

I started to swoon orbiting her moon

If I lived on Jupiter I couldn't have been stupider

I can't blame you for what you see

You are light years ahead of me

I messed around with re-entry

We're just not from the same galaxy

It's just the way I am

Sorry ma'am

But I'll be damned to

Five-star

I won't tell

If you don't tell

It's just as well

In five-star

There's no hope

It's the way I cope

I stole the soap

From the five star motel