Is This Any Way to Run an Airline? - Tom Paxton

Oh the airline ticket reservation counter lady

Is a very special friend of mine

When I asked her in the morning

If my flight was ready

She assured me it was right on time

Oh the taxi to the airport

Cost me seven or eight

And the porter got another buck or two

When some joker on the microphone said sorry

But we've got a little bad news for you

It's getting cloudy up in Boston

Montreal is socked in tight

Washington is closed for Christmas

Philadelphia's out on strike

Minnesota's up to here in snow

And Tulsa's Closed tonight you know

Please be patient five more minutes

Hope you have a pleasant flight

Oh the airlines passenger relations representative

Was very sympathetic to me

Just as soon as we completely

Overhaul your astroliner

You ll be airborne just as quick as can be

Then of course we'll need a stewerdess

But never you mind

We'll have one trained in plenty of time

Won't you settle in our astrolounge in comfort

We'll be leaving at a quarter of nine

But the astrolounge was crowded

And the coffee shop was crammed

The coke machine was broken

And they closed the hot dog stand

I couldn't find a magazine

They broke the cigarette machine

The shoeshine boy was sleeping

And my radio was jammed

Oh I carefully examined every corner of the building

For the next fourteen hours or so

And the bulletins kept coming

From the reservation counter

Yessiree we're getting ready to go

For we're flying in another plane

From London you see

Any minute now that plane should appear

You'll be leaving in a minute providing

This little bit of nasty weather should clear

For it's getting cloudy up in Boston

And it's snowing up in Maine

Los Angeles is hopeless

And Chicago's getting rain

You've had a couple dirty days

But your ticket's good for thirty days

And when the runway is completed

Would you like to board your plane