@migu music@

作曲 : Anthony Drewe/George Stiles

Remember the little ditties we used to sing together when I was a child,

Well here's a new one.

Some little piggies go to market.

Some little piggies stay at home.

Some little piggies eat roast beef.

(Roast beef)

Whilst other little piggies have none.

But there's a little piggy that I'm telling you about.

It's a secret little piggy,

Don't let anyone find out.

There's a pig,

In the house,

(In the house)

Here with us.

There's a pig,

In the house,

But we don't want any fuss.

With a pig,

In the house,

Best we keep it to ourselves.

It's important you remember in case anybody delves.

There's no pig,

(But I thought you-)

In the house,

(-you said)

If you think about it thus.

There's no pig,

In the house,

If there's anyone but us.

There's no pig in the house,

There's just Gilbert, Joyce and you,

But when no one else is looking,

There's a little piggy too.

Pig.

No pig.

Pig.

No pig.

You think I've gone loopy-loo.

Pig.

No pig.

Pig.

No pig.

I know what you're trying to do.

Fill my head with nonsense,

Then say I've gone berserk.

Lock me in the nut-house,

Well that's never gonna work!

There's no way you are shutting me inside a loony-bin,

No not by the hairs,

On my chinny chin chin.

You wanna put me away,

Don't you.

No one wants to put you away.

Well actually I wouldn't mind-

Gilbert!

Doctor Swaby put Mrs Beavers away when she

Didn't know her times tables or who the PM was.

This isn't like Mrs Beavers, love.

We're just trying to tell you,

There's a pig so in case you see it you know you're not going bananas.

(Oh she is going bananas!)

I could eat a banana

There are no bananas!

There's a pig,

(There's a pig),

In the house,

(In the house),

It is under our roof!

(In the house!)

There's a pig,

(There's a pig),

In the house,

(In the house),

Take a sniff and there's your proof!

There's a pig,

(There's a pig),

In the house,

(In the house),

That we must not give away,

So if anyone should visit,

It's important that you say:

There's no pig,

(No pig!),

In the house,

(In the house),

In case anyone complains.

There's no pig,

(No pig!)

In the house,

(In the house),

It's a problem with the drains.

There's no pig,

In the house,

There's just Gilbert, Joyce and you.

(There's just me and both of you!)

But when no one else is looking,

There's a little piggy too!

There now! Isn't that simple.

(Yeah!)

Now,let's supposing that nosey Mrs Tilbrook was to come round again,

What do we say?

Pig!

No pig!

Pig!

No pig!

Can it do me any harm?

(No mother no!)

Pig!

No pig!

Pig!

No pig!

Shouldn't it be on a farm?

Can't be that hygienic,

There's diseases you can get.

What's wrong with a budgie,

Or a little furry pet?

It won't be stopping long so I've been promised by my spouse,

So let's just pretend,

There's no pig in our house.

There's no pig in our house.

There's no pig in our house.

There! I believe we are all of one mind.

Yeah, Bonkers!

Now,show her the creature.

There's no pig,

In the house!

She's escaped from her sty.

There's no pig,

In the house!

Well they say that pigs might fly.

She can't just escape,

She'll be dirtying my floor.

(Ding, dong)

And of course with perfect timing,

Now there's someone at the door.

Who is it?

Oh it's Veronica Allardyce,

It's time for her lesson.

Send her away!

That might arouse suspicion,

I'll see to Veronica,

You see to that pig.

Good morning Veronica!

There's a pig in this house,

In this house here with us.

There's a pig in this house,

But we don't want any fuss.

With a pig in this house,

Best we keep it to ourselves.

It's important you remember in case anybody delves.

That's lovely mother.

Ours is a very musical family.

We sing all the time.

Your house smells!

Our house doesn't smell!

My mother says poor people's houses smell.

Your mother is a font of wisdom and compassion.

Ow my coat!

Best to leave it on,

Poor people's houses are also cold.

Now, play.

(I can't find her!)

Play!

Found the pig!

In the house

She's in there,

In the loo.

Very good,

Here's a knife.

Go and do what you must do!

Dicekal Veronica,

Next forte love.

And we'll have ham,

We'll have chops,

We'll have tripe and so much more!

(Ding, dong. Ding, dong)

And again with perfect timing,

Someone else is at the door.

Oh, Gestapo!

Gestapo, minister of meat!

What's he doing here?

Pig!

No Pig!

Pig!

No Pig!

Is it Doctor Swaby come to take me away?

(No it's not you they'll be taking away!)

Pig!

No Pig!

(Oh shut up!)

Pig!

No Pig!

It's no good mother,

We have no choice but to answer it!

Mr Wormold.

I have an appointment.

Please come in,

This is my, err, wife and her mother.

There's no pig in this house,

If you think about it thus.

There's no pig in this house,

If there's anyone but us.

There's no pig in this house,

Just me and all of you.

But when no one else is looking,

(But there is somebody looking!)

But when no one else is looking,

There's a little piggy too!

Oh that's lovely mother dear.

Now.

It's time for your nap.

Veronica love,

Where are you going?

To the toilet.

No!

A pig!

No pig.

Pig,

No pig.

They think I've gone loopy loo.

(There's a pig!)

Pig,

No pig.

Pig,

No pig.

I know what they're trying to do.

A pig in the house,

What an absurd notion,

The very idea.

That's enough practice today dear.

And don't think I won't report this incident to your mother,as I'm sure she's already told you!

Only poor people lie.

Children!

They have such overactive imaginations!

I'm sorry about your foot Mr Wormold,

I promise to be more careful with the other one.

Oh that won't be necessary!

Magic fingers indeed!

There's a pig,

In the house.

But it isn't going to stay!

There's a pig,

In the house.

That you have to put away!

Pig,

No pig.

There's a pig in the house.

There's a pig in the house.

There's a pig in the house,

Leaving chaos in it's way!

I thought by now you might have learned.

I think that rotten smells returned.

Because as far as I'm concerned,

I've had as much as I can take!