One Hundred Ways to Lose a Man - Maureen Lipman

作曲：Adolph Green/Betty Comden/Leonard Bernstein

The first way to lose a man

You've met a charming fellow and you're out for a spin

The motor fails and he just wears a helpless grin

Don't bat your eyes and say what a romantic spot we're in

Just leap out crawl under the car

Say it's the gasket and fix it in two seconds flat with a bobby pin

That's a good way to lose a man

He takes you to a baseball game

You sit knee to knee

He says the next man up at bat will bunt you'll see

Don't say ooh what's a bunt this game's too hard for little me

Just say blunt are you nuts with one out two men on base

And a left handed batter coming up you'll walk right into a triple play

The same as the fifth game of the world series in 1923

That's a sure way to lose a man

A sure sure sure sure way to lose a man

A splendid way to lose a man

Just throw your knowledge in his face

He'll never try for second base

Ninety-eight ways to go

The third way to lose a man the life guard at the beach

That all the girlies adore swims bravely out

To save you through the ocean's roar don't say oh thanks

I would have drowned in just one second more

Just push his head under and what say

Last one in is a rotten egg and race him back to shore

That's a swell way to lose a man

You've found your perfect mate and it's been love from the start

He whispers you're the one to who I give my heart

Don't say I love you too my dear let's never never part

Just say I'm afraid you've made a grammatical error

Isn't to who I give my heart it's to whom I give my heart

You see with the preposition to who becomes the indirect object

Making the use of whom imperative which I can prove to you

With this very simple chart

That's a fine way to lose a man

A fine fine fine fine way to lose a man

A dandy way to lose a man

Just be more well informed as he

You'll never hear oh promise me

Just should we where his grammar errs

Then mark your towels hers and hers

Yes girls you too can lose your man

If you will use ruth sherwood's plan

One hundred easy ways to lose a man