Pass the Football - Nicolas Colicos/Roy Durbin/Daniel Coll

作曲：Adolph Green/Betty Comden/Leonard Bernstein

Look at me now

Four years of college

Famous professors

Tutoring me

Scholarship kid

Everything paid for

Food and vacations

All of it free

Day that I left

Everyone gathered

Their cheering still rings in my ears

'Cause I could pass that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen

Couldn't spell a lick

Couldn't do arithmetic

One and one made three

Thought that dog was CAT

But I could pass that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen

Couldn't dance for beans

Mashed my girls to smithereens

Sometimes blood was spilled

Still my card was always filled

'Cause I could pass that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen

Couldn't figure riddles

Puzzles made me pout

Where the hell was Moses

When the lights went out

I couldn't even tell red from green

Get those verbs through my bean

But I was buddies with the dean

Like nothin' you have ever seen

Passed without a fuss

English lit and calculus

Never had to cram

Even passed the bar exam

'Cause I passed that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen

Then there was the week

Albert Einstein came to speak

Relativity

Guess who introduced him me

'Cause I could pass that football

Like nothin' you have ever seen

Had no table manners

Used to dunk my roll

Always drunk the water from the fingerbowl

Though I would not get up for any she

The prexy's mom age ninety three

Got up and gave her seat to me

Like nothin' you did ever see

In our hall of fame

There's a statue with my name

There we stand by heck

Lincoln Washington and wreck

'Cause I could pass that football

Like nothin' you have ever ever seen