You Can Always Count On Me - Randy Graff

作词：D. Zippel

作曲：Cy Coleman

I'm one of a long line of good girls

Who choose the wrong guy to be sweet on

The girl with a face that says welcome

That men can wipe their feet on

I'm there when he calls me

The trusted girl friday alright

But what good does it do me

Alone on a saturday night

If you need a gal

To go without sal'ry and work too hard

You can always count on me

The kind of a pal

Who'd sneak you a file past the prison guard

Loyal to the n'th degree

The boss is quite the ladies man

And that's my biggest gripe

'Til I showed up he's never hired

A girl 'cause she could type

I'm no femme fatal

But faithful and true as a saint bernard

Barkin' up the wrong damn tree

You can always count on me

I don't need a map

I nat'rally head for the dead end street

You can always count on me

I'm caught in a trap

When joy is approaching then I retreat

I'm at home with misery

I've been the other woman

Since my puberty began

I crashed the junior prom

And met the only married man

I'm always on tap

For romance or choc'late that's bitter sweet

You can always count on me

A matter of fact

If you want an ill fated love affair

You can always count on me

Though I've made a pact

To carry out research

Before I care

Men don't give a warranty

One joe who swore he's single

Got me sorta crocked the beast

I woke up only slightly shocked

That I'd defrocked a priest

Or else I attract

The guys who are longing to do my hair

You can always count on me

I go for the riff raff

Who's treating me so so

When I can play the second fiddle I'm a virtuoso

I should be playing for a wedding band

But there're no wedding rings attached

Though you can bet

There're strings attached

Though my kind of dame

No doubt will die out like the dinosaurs

You can always count on me

I'm solely to blame

My head gives advice that my heart ignores

I'm my only enemy

I choose the kind who cannot

Introduce the girl he's with

There're lots of smirking motel clerks

Who call me Mrs Smith

But I've made a name

With hotel detectives who break down doors

Guess who they expect to see

You can always count on bet a large amount on

You can always count on me