Camelot: Then You May Take Me to the Fair - Camelot Original Broadway Cast/Julie Andrews/Bruce Yarnell/James Gannon/John Cullum

作词：Alan Jay Lerner

作曲：Frederick Loewe

Do you recall the other night

that I distinctly said

You might serve as my escort

at the next town fair

Well I'm afraid there's someone who

I must invite in place of you

Someone who plainly is beyond compare

That Frenchman's power is more tremendous

Than I have ever seen anywhere

And when a man is that stupendous

He by right should take me to the fair

Your majesty let me tilt with him

and smite him

Don't refuse me so abruptly I implore

Oh give me the opportunity to fight him

And Gaul will be divided once more

You'll bash and thrash him

I'll smash and mash him

You'll give him trouble

He will be rubble

A mighty whack His skull will crack

Well then you may take me to the fair

If you do all the things you promise

In fact my heart would break should you

Not take me to the fair

I have some rather painful

news relative to the subject

Who's to be beside me at the next court ball

You were the chosen one

I know but as tradition

It should go to the unquestioned

champion in the hall

And I'm convinced that splendid Frenchman

Can easily conquer one and all

And besting all our local henchmen

He should sit beside me at the ball

I beg of you mam with hold your invitation

I swear to you this challenge will be met

And when I have finished up the operation

I'll serve him to your highness en brochette

You'll pierce right through him

I'll barbecue him

A wicked thrust

'Twill be dust to dust

From fore to aft He'll feel a draft

Well then you may sit by me at the ball

If you demolish him in battle

In fact I know I'd cry were

You not by me at the ball

Didn't I promise that you

may guide me to London

On the day that I go up to

judge the cattle show

As it is quite a nasty ride

There must be someone at my side

Who'll be defending me

from beast and foe

So when I choose whom I prefer go

I take the strongest knight I know

And young du Lac seems strongest ergo

He should take me to the cattle show

Your Majesty can't believe

this blustering prattle

Let him prove it with a sword

or lance instead

I promise you when I've done

this Gaul in battle

His shoulders will be

lonesome for his head

You'll disconnect him

I'll vivisect him

You'll open-wide him

I'll subdivide him

Oh dear dear dear dear dear

Then you may guide me to the show

If you can carry out your program

In fact I'd grieve inside should

You not guide me to the show

Milady we shall put an end to

That Galic bag of noise and nerve

When we do all that we intend to

He'll be a plate of French Hors D'oeuvres

I do applaud your noble goals

Now let us see if you achieve them

And if you do then you will be

The three who go to the ball

To the show and take me to the fair