@migu music@

The Day My Pad Went Mad - John Cooper Clarke

I'm ankle deep in human waste

The toilet has been clogged

Marrowbone jelly all over the place

I don't even have a dog

The man upstairs he grabs my arm

Saying don't I know your dad

All I could hear were the fire alarms

The day my pad went mad

All I could hear were the fire alarms

The day my pad went mad

The kitchen has been ransacked

Ski trails in the hall

A chicken has been dhansaked

And thrown against the wall

In walks this dumb waiter

With a fountain pen and pad

Saying how do you want this alligator

The day my pad went mad

Saying how do you want this alligator

The day my pad went mad

The hamster had been slaugtered

The parrot bound and gagged

The guard dog had been sorted out

And absolutely shagged

The goldfish drowned the cat was found

Kicked around and stabbed

The radio did not make a sound

The day my pad went mad

The radio did not make a sound

The day my pad went mad

The pop-up toaster refused to pop

The chandelier was smashed

The starter motor would not stop

The tyres had been slashed

There was no way out of there

I was stuck with what I had

Out of order beyond repair

The day my pad went mad

Out of order beyond repair

The day my pad went mad

Yesterday I had the place rewired

And slung out all of my junk

A tumble dryer and a two bar fire

And a telephone now defunct

I peeped through the venetian blinds

And the rain fell down so sad

On the broken home I left behind

The day my pad went mad

On the broken home I left behind

The day my pad went mad