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If I Were a Rich Man (from 'Fiddler on the Roof') - Zero Mostel

Dear God

You made many many poor people

I realize of course

That it's no shame to be poor

But it's no great honor either

So what would have been so terrible if

I had a small fortune

If I were a rich man ya ha deedle deedle

Didle didle deedle deedle dum

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum

If I were a wealthy man

I wouldn't have to work hard

Ya ha deedle deedle didle

Didle deedle deedle dum

If I were a biddy biddy rich yidle

Diddle didle didle man

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen

Right in the middle of the town

A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below

There would be one long staircase just going up

And one even longer coming down

And one more leading nowhere just for show

I'd fill my yard with chicks

And turkeys and geese and ducks

For the town to see and hear

Squawking just as noisily as they can

And each loud "pa-pa-geeee pa-pa-gaack

Pa-pa-geeee pa-pa-gaack "

Would land like a trumpet on the ear

As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man "

Oy

If I were a rich man ya ha deedle deedle

Didle didle deedle deedle dum

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum

If I were a wealthy man

I wouldn't have to work hard

Ya ha deedle deedle didle

Didle deedle deedle dum

If I were a biddy biddy rich yidle

Diddle didle didle man

I see my wife my Goldie

Looking like a rich man's wife

With a proper double chin

Supervising meals to her heart's delight

I see her putting on airs

And strutting like a peacock

Oy what a happy mood she's in

Screaming at the servants day and night

The most important men in town

Would come to fawn on me

They would ask me to advise them

Like a Solomon the Wise

If you please Reb Tevye pardon me Reb Tevye

Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes

And it won't make one bit of difference

If I answer right or wrong

When you're rich they think you really know

If I were rich I'd have the time that I lack

To sit in the synagogue and pray

And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall

And I'd discuss the Holy books with the learned men

Several hours every day

That would be the sweetest thing of all

If I were a rich man ya ha deedle deedle

Didle didle deedle deedle dum

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum

If I were a wealthy man

I wouldn't have to work hard

Ya ha deedle deedle didle

Didle deedle deedle dum

Lord who made the lion and the lamb

You decreed I should be what I am

Would it spoil some vast eternal plan

If I were a wealthy man