The Worst Pies In London - Patti LuPone

作曲：Stephen Sondheim

A customer

Wait what's your rush

What's your hurry

You gave me such a

Fright i thought you was a ghost

Half a minute can't ya sit

Sit ya down

Sit

All i meant is that i haven't seen a customer for weeks

Did ya come here for a pie sir

Do forgive me if my head's a little vague

What is that

But you'd think we had the plague

From the way that people

Keep avoiding

No you don't

Heaven knows i try sir

But there's no one comes in even to inhale

But there's no one comes in even to inhale

Mind you i can hardly blame them

These are probably the worst pies in london

I know why nobody cares to take them

I should know

I make them

But good

The worst pies in london

Even that's polite the worst pies in london

If you doubt it take a bite

Is that just disgusting

You have to concede it

It's nothing but crusting

Here drink this you'll need it

The worst pies in london

And no wonder with the price of meat

What it is

When you get it

Never thought i'd live to see the day

Men'd think it was a treat

Findin' poor

Animals

What are dyin' in the street

Mrs mooney has a pie shop

Does a business but i notice something weird

Lately all her neighbors cats have disappeared

Have to hand it to her

What i calls

Enterprise

Poppin' pussies into pies

Wouldn't do in my shop

Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick

And i'm telling you them pussycats is quick

No denying times is hard sir

Even harder than the worst pies in london

Only lard and nothing more

Is that just revolting

All greasy and gritty

It looks like it's molting

And tastes like we'll pity

A woman alone with limited wind

And the worst pies in london

Ah sir

Times is hard

Times is hard